PRÉCIS ON DOING CHRIST NO HARM: RECONCILING DIFFERENCES WITH FELLOW CHRISTIANS

SCRIPTURE. “FOR HE IS [HIMSELF] OUR PEACE (our bond of unity and harmony). He has made us both [Jew and Gentile] one [body], and has broken down (destroyed, abolished) the hostile dividing wall between us.” – EPHESIANS 2:14, AMPC

KEY TERM: “PEACE.” ‘Eiréné’ [εἰρήνη]: “From a primary word meaning, ‘To join.’ [Also]: ‘Peace, quietness, rest; prosperity; the oppostite of war.’” NOTE: “εἰρήνη describes wholeness, harmony, and well-being granted by God and experienced among His people. In the New Testament it is never a mere absence of conflict; it is the positive, Covenantal State that flows from God’s redemptive work in Christ and is applied by the Holy Spirit to individuals and communities.” – STRONG, 1895; edited

COMMENTARY. “Christ has destroyed the Barriers people build between themselves and others. Because these Walls have been removed, we can have real Unity with people who are not like us [or with whom we disagree]. We have True Reconciliation with God and with each other. Because of Christ’s Death, we are all Unified on the same side, citizens of the same Kingdom (2:14); our enmity against each other has been put to death (2:16) ; we can all have access to the Father by the Holy Spirit (2:18); we are no longer strangers or foreigners to God (2:19); and we are all being built into a Holy Temple with Christ as our Chief Cornerstone (2:20-21).” – RONALD A. BEERS, General Editor,Life Application Study Bible, 2022, p. 2691; edited

APPLICATION. I get into conflicts with fellow Christians these days, ‘a lot!’ Most of them are over Orthodox Theology that genuinely and necessarily separates us, as with the Maga Christians who follow Donald Trump. Those are frankly relatively easy to dispense with since THE APOSTLE made it absolutely clear that we are to “Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them” (EPHESIANS 5:11, NKJV).

But what are we to do when we have a substantial disagreement with a Close Brother or Sister with whom we largely concur on vital matters of Doctrine, when without warning, we are drawn into a struggle over matters of personality, personal misunderstandings, or even truthfulness itself?

Well now, that’s a horse of an entirely different color. What then?

THEOLOGY. For some answers I turn to the excellent work of board-certified clinical neuropsychologist DR. MICHELLE BENGSTON (Ph.D. Nova Southeastern University, 1995). Her article is titled, “Seven Biblical Principles for Healthy Conflict Resolution” (Blog, Feb. 2025; edited).

Bear in mind that even the Great Apostle occasionally conflicted with close members of the Church (Paul and Peter at Antioch; Galatians 2:11-13). So let’s take a page out of Dr. Bengston’s book to find SEVEN BIBLICAL PROTOCOLS to follow for such conflicts.

Note: I wrote this primarily for MYSELF, beloved, since I have developed a penchant for getting into fights these days!

SEEK GOD FIRST. “Before addressing any conflict, pause to seek God’s guidance. James 1:5 assures us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Prayer aligns our hearts with God’s will and invites the Holy Spirit to guide our words and actions. When we approach conflict prayerfully, we’re more likely to act with humility and discernment rather than impulsivity, pride, or anger.”

EMBRACE HUMILITY. “Conflict often escalates when pride gets in the way. Proverbs 11:2 reminds us, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” Humility means being willing to listen, admit when we’re wrong, and value the other person’s perspective. Approaching conflict with a heart of humility fosters mutual understanding and paves the way for possible Reconciliation.”

TRUTH IN LOVE. “The Bible calls us to speak truthfully, but with love as our foundation. Ephesians 4:15 instructs, “Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” This means addressing the issue honestly, but without harshness or condemnation. Our words should build up rather than tear down, aiming to resolve the conflict rather than win the argument.”

QUICK TO LISTEN, SLOW TO ANGER. “James 1:19 offers wise counsel: “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Listening attentively demonstrates respect and helps us understand the other person’s feelings and perspective. When we prioritize listening, we’re better equipped to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally. This Principle is especially powerful when emotions are running high.”

RECONCILIATION OVER WINNING. “In a culture that often prioritizes being ‘right,’ the Bible encourages us to pursue reconciliation above all else. Matthew 5:23-24 emphasizes the importance of mending relationships: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Reconciliation reflects the heart of Christ and brings healing to broken relationships.” DK: ‘But this never, ever at the expense of Truth and Sound Doctrine.’Selah.

GOSSIP AND SLANDER. “When conflict arises, the temptation to vent or seek validation from others can be strong. However, Proverbs 16:28 warns, “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.” Instead of spreading the issue, address it directly with the person involved. Keeping the matter private not only honors the other person but also prevents further harm to relationships and reputations.”

PRINCIPLED FORGIVENESS THE KEY! “Forgiveness is at the Core of the Gospel and a vital component of Healthy Conflict Resolution. Colossians 3:13 urges us, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” While Forgiveness doesn’t excuse Wrongdoing, it frees us from bitterness and opens the door to restoration. By forgiving, we reflect God’s Grace and Love and are obedient to His Command.”

THE WAR. In all of this beloved, we must constantly remind ourselves of an existential Last Days Reality: “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (JOHN 10:10, NKJV).

Knowing his time is short, Satan (and his Antichrist) are in their final stages of frantically laboring to undermine and destroy the Unity of the True Church, having already done that to the Establishment Church. ‘THE REMNANT constitutes the Last Firewall between a semblance of Order and unmitigated Chaos’ (2 Thess. 2:7; Rev. 12:12)

Paul’s Letter to the Hebrews Instructs: “Let us HOLD FAST the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is

faithful” (10:23, NKJV).

And that means resolving our internecine disagreements with a Transcendent View that His Kingdom is vastly more important than winning our much smaller arguments. HE is Why we are here and the Reason for what we think, say and do.

And none other!